


Arms

by pleasereadmeok



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 16:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3536483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasereadmeok/pseuds/pleasereadmeok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Finn – what is it?”<br/>He looked at her blankly. “I forgot.” He said quietly.<br/>“Finn?  What did you forget?  What’s happened?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arms

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve realised that I always make Finn the sort of ‘Knight in shining armour’ in a lot of these fic’s.  
> I think the situation in this story could reverse the roles somewhat. This time Finn needs Alicia to be there for _him_.

Alicia knocked on the window of Finn’s office door. It was unusual for it to be closed when he was on his own. She went in quietly just in case he was on the phone and she couldn’t see. He was standing staring out of the window. “Finn?” He did not turn around. Alicia stood beside him and noticed he was clutching his desk calendar. He looked completely desolate.  
“Finn – what is it?”  
He looked at her blankly. “I forgot.” He said quietly.  
“Finn? What did you forget? What’s happened?”  
He stared at the calendar. His eyes were filling up and his shoulders began to heave.  
Alicia suddenly understood and put her arms around him – “Your baby?”  
“Yes.”

Alicia held Finn tight. She had never been so close to him – or _felt_ so close to him. Finn was sharing his deepest sorrow with her. He needed her to comfort him. He was so vulnerable, so desperately sad. All Alicia wanted to do was take his hurt away and protect him as he silently sobbed in her arms.

After a while Finn said, “I’m sorry – I need to get a grip.”  
“It’s OK – don’t worry….”  
He interrupted, “I need to ring my wife – my ex-wife. She’ll be…I need to speak to her.”  
“I’ll leave you in private for a while but I’m coming back – I don’t want you to be on your own.”

 

Alicia was true to her word. When she returned Finn was lying on his sofa and she perched on the arm and stroked his forehead. “How was she?”  
“Not good – I just feel so helpless here. She didn’t want me to fly up there… she said it would be easier without me.”  
“It’s tough watching someone else grieve – we both know that.”  
“I know – it’s just hard.”  
“Come on. Come home with me, have something to eat and we can just talk _or not_ – whatever helps.”  
“I don’t know – I wouldn’t be great company right now.”  
“Please Finn – Grace has some bible thing later so I’m on my own. I’ll drive you.”

Alicia had already rung Grace to explain. Grace was concerned. She had met Finn again when she was helping out at the soup kitchen with her group a few weeks ago. She had remembered Finn was her Mom’s friend. He was a popular volunteer because he was always so upbeat and funny. He kept everyone’s spirits up when the weather was so bad and they were run off their feet. The man who walked into the apartment that night was someone else – someone empty. Grace smiled warmly at Finn when Alicia led him in.  
“I’ve started dinner. It’s just pasta.”  
Finn attempted a smile. 

When they sat down to eat Finn pushed his food around the plate. Alicia and Grace looked at him anxiously.  
“Sorry – I’m not the best cook!” Grace apologised.  
“No – I’m sorry. I’m just not hungry.”

Grace went off to her bible group leaving Finn and Alicia alone. Alicia held his hand and they sat in silence on her sofa. “I’m really sorry – maybe I should be on my own.”  
“It’s OK – we don’t need to talk – but I’m here if you want to.” She pulled him down to lie on the sofa so his head rested in her lap. He nuzzled his face into her stomach and she stroked his hair and neck. Finn was so quiet she could hear his breathing – slow and calm at last. Alicia figured that sleeping was really the best thing for him and so she said softly, “Come to bed – you’ll be more comfortable.” Finn followed her to the bedroom and she took off his suit. He didn’t protest or try to help – he just complied lifelessly. Alicia kept her arms around him as he fell asleep. 

Although the circumstances were horrible - Alicia was secretly glad that she could help Finn for a change. He was always ‘there’ for her. He had always listened to her problems and supported her. He had never turned her away. Alicia realised now that he needed looking after too.

When Finn woke he was confused for a moment. He was semi clothed in a strange bed with a woman’s arms around him. “Alicia?” She woke to find Finn rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up.  
“Hi you.”  
He was opening and shutting his eyes to get himself awake.  
“Hi. What happened? Did we do something naughty?”  
Alicia was so relieved to hear him make that familiar joke she wanted to kiss him. “No - we didn’t do anything naughty”, she said gently.  
He looked disappointed. “Shame. Well maybe not – I hope I would remember that!”  
“Seriously – how did I get here?”  
“You don’t remember?”  
“Not really. I remember being in my office and something – oh…the date.”  
The humour drained from him as Finn remembered. Alicia nodded to encourage him to recollect. “Go on.”  
“I remember now. I normally take the day off – somehow I forgot. I think I was so shocked that I could forget - it made it worse. How could I forget something like that?”  
“Don’t blame yourself. Life just takes over – I know that as well as anybody.”  
He smiled at Alicia “You looked after me. Thank you. I remember your arms around me …”

They were interrupted by a quiet knock at the door. “Can I come in?”  
“Yes – it’s OK.”  
Grace poked her head around the door – “How are you doing?”  
Finn sat up – he felt a bit awkward being found in Alicia’s bed but clearly Grace was expecting him to be there.  
“Grace – Hi.” He remembered something, “Did you cook for me last night?”  
“Well – I tried! You treated my effort with the contempt it deserved!”  
“Did I? No – I’m sorry – it was ...”  
“It’s OK – I’m teasing. How are you?”  
“Good – thanks.”  
“I was going to make a drink – do you want something – tea, coffee – something to eat?”  
“Coffee please.”  
“Thanks Grace.” Alicia smiled at her thoughtful daughter.

“Grace is a great kid – you did good with her.” Finn thought for a moment. “It must be wonderful to have a daughter…” That blank stare again. Alicia understood now that Finn’s baby had been a daughter. She reached for his hand.  
“There’s still time for you. You might meet someone else and have a whole new family.” Alicia regretted what she had said immediately. “I’m so sorry – I didn’t mean that would replace what you’ve lost.”  
“No – I understand. I suppose it would depend. If I was in love with someone – I don’t think it would matter to me – having more children I mean. I’d just want to be with her.”  
“Is that really true? Wouldn’t it cause resentment? Wouldn’t you feel like you had missed something in your life?”  
“I don’t think so. You can overcome anything if you have love.” Alicia realised that Finn had been fondling her hand as he spoke. “What about you – do you ever think about having another child?”  
“Me?” Alicia was taken aback by the question and she suddenly felt uncomfortable. “I’ve never really thought about it – I’m probably too old. I suppose if I could – I would.” She surprised herself with her answer. “It’s hardly likely to be an issue. In the circumstances.”  
“Because you’re still married?”  
“Yes. Most men wouldn’t put up with the Peter … ‘situation’.”  
“If they really loved you they would put up with anything just to be with you.”  
Finn absentmindedly kissed Alicia’s hand. “What would happen if you met someone you wanted to be with? What would you do?”  
“I …” Alicia didn’t know how to answer. “I suppose I would have to get a divorce.”

Alicia suddenly realised what was making her uncomfortable and it wasn’t that he had kissed her hand. When Alicia was with Finn she sometimes forgot that he was a lawyer too and a damn good one. It was subtle but she recognised it. That moment in court when you are questioning someone – and you just know there is something there – something to be discovered. You don’t know where the line of questioning is going but you gently tease it out until something is revealed. Alicia recognised that Finn was delicately cross-examining her and that he was carefully weighing up her answers before deciding how to move on.

“Alicia.” Finn put his arms around her and something shifted – something changed between them. It was a complete reversal of the night before. The feeling of his arms around her was overwhelming. Alicia felt like she had always been there – like she was home. It was like she was remembering something long forgotten. She felt safe, wanted, loved. 

Finn was looking deeply into her eyes as he held her close. “Alicia …” and she had an idea of what he was going to say. She understood that if he said it everything would change. The abstract idea of being with Finn would become real. A thought came into Alicia’s mind and did not shift. That was it – that was what she wanted. She held her breath.  
“You said I might meet someone. I have Alicia … I met you.”


End file.
